“The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!” Proverbs 23:24-25
In the first three parts we shared with you that children’s behavior is learned at home and is not inherited, although parents don’t think that will happen. We also mentioned that mistakes made when training children will affect their behavior.
Among the errors parents should avoid making are the following:
- Comparing children to other people. Whether its siblings or friends, any comparison has a loser, and this will usually be your child. This can have several effects. It produces low self-esteem, as the compared child sees and believes him or herself to be less than others, though that is not true. On the other hand, a child grows up angry at the person he or she was compared to, even if that is a sibling. He or she may feel very angry at parents or those who were making comparisons.
This anger is the base of guilt that many people feel, and it stops them from healthy development and from reaching their potential. It could affect them for the rest of their lives. Usually these are the people who don’t live up to their possibilities.
Comparing damages the image of a person, diminishes their potential, and is the reason why there are so many people who feel like failures, frustrated, useless, full of insecurities and fearful of being successful.
- Insecurity and negativity. Parents are models for their children. They copy their attitudes, their way of thinking and their way of acting. They copy their way of living and experiencing their spiritual lives. This is why every parent must think about how they act in front of their children. Are you happy and positive? Or are you negative and critical? Are you aware of your child’s needs or are you indifferent to them?
It is important to evaluate this because, without realizing it, and even if they didn’t like their parents’ ways of behaving, they will repeat these behaviors as adults, because that is what they learned.
The Bible teaches us that we should live without fear, diligently, generously, being forgiving, because that is how we please the Lord our God.
Parents should be full of hope in a world without hope, be firm in their beliefs, and live consistently with what they believe. Parents should not be double-minded, but of firm character, kind and not bitter.
Be a father or a mother transformed by and full of the Holy Spirit and you will have successful children.
May God help you in all you set out to accomplish today.
Doctor Miguel and Irene Garita
Ministerio Cuidado Familiar (Family Care Ministry)
Iglesia Del Nazareno, Región Mesoamérica
Download the document here How to raise successful children pt 4